Parents and a WHOLE LOT OF Venting

Ugh So I haven't posted in a while, not that anyone cares because no one reads this darn thing. But who cares, hahaha. (Okay seriously?) It turns out it wasn't the crazy leprechauns under my bed, but my father who took my laptop charger. I missed my baby so much, I can't stand to live one second without him. (I named him Jose) The best thing happened today, I made a 100 on my chemistry final, which is a first. I guess when I really apply myself i can make good grades, maybe that's what I'll shall start doing. I sort of want to make my parents proud and prove them wrong. they think I'm lazy and good for nothing. My mom is always pushing me to try harder, but if she only knew the harder she pushed the more reluctant I am to doing it. I'm more of a rebel child, I love to bend the rules no matter the cost. I'm not saying i would commit murder or anything in that nature, but I was never meant to be told what to do. Also i'm scared that I won't get accepted into University, like I'm not good enough or they just don't like me. (which is sort of the same thing.) I just wish I had some answers on my future, and I know that could never happen; but it doesn't hurt just to wish. 


      I've noticed that high school is really turning up for me, I hated last year with a passion; but it seems as if I have a good group of friends that I can depend on. I'm so grateful for that, the feeling of being abandoned and kicked out of a group is not fun what so ever. Don't let anyone lie to you and tell you that's it's their decision to be a loner; because it was somebody out there who abandoned them first. The feeling of helplessness just seems to consume your every thought and you begin to just hate yourself. Myself, I'm not the greatest person in the world. I tend to make cruel remarks to those I despise, but why? What's the point anyway? I guess i just want people to know that I'm a force to be reckon with and that I'm someone you just can push aside. But truthfully i don't want to be like that, I want people to think of me as a nice person. Someone they can come to whenever they have problems, I want to be a role model not a Bitch. A couple of years ago I was the prey and not the predator, I can say that it's not the greatest feeling in the world. I remember crying and praying to god for just one friend that would understand me, someone that didn't have to feel like they were stuck with me. Another thing that bothers me is when people call me annoying, I'm always like seriously I can't help the way I am. I'm just trying to be myself, and if you don't like me you can stop talking to me. 


Woah I've been venting, I feel sort of better. As people would say "a weight has been lifted off my chest". I just took a deep breath and now I think everything is going to be okay now. Wait one more thing, what I really yearn for is a boyfriend. All of my friends have had their first kiss and I always hear their make-out stories but I've never been kissed. Sure I've lied and said that i have, but I'm really to afraid to admit that I haven't. I want to have a special connection with a guy, I want someone to hold my hand and walk me to my classes. I want someone that i can hold close and hear their heart beating erratically when they are around me.  I don't want to wait until I'm out of high school and finally found someone that totally understood me. I want the HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART, someone I'll remember forever. But yet I'm alone as a third wheel. It makes me wonder if I'm just not pretty enough, or my personality isn't up to pare. I want my first kiss before I'm 30!!!!! Ugh why is life like this, why does it always make you think. You could say that's just the beauty of it. (Actually there is a guy I really like, I'm not going to name names. But I think he thinks of me more as a acquaintance, the girl whose just a little too hyper and sarcastic. I'll never be able to be that girl, the girl that he'll dream about, the girl he'll yearn for all night and day. I'm just me. If only he knew how I truly felt, what I would really say if I was being myself. The real me, would he........ ) I'm in a lost for words.


Au Revoir,
China

Material Things Can Really Make the Heart Go

Today the worst thing happened. I lost my laptop charger, how am I suppose to function without my laptop. It sounds crazy, but my whole life is on that thing. I tend to write stories, fictional of course and there all on there. Over 300 full pages of my heart poured on a page. If only I kept them in notebooks but then my room would be filled to the core with them. Why do the worse things haopen on the best of days, I guess it's cause innate bad luck beyond bad luck. Darn! I was almost on the brink of tears too. Today was the last day of finals at school and now we have a four day weekend. YAY! But I can't entertain myself without  my computer to check if any wants to hang out if they don't answer there phone. See wht I did there? I linked it back to my poor computer. Well I'm going to go sulk in my memories of my dear old friend.

SORRY FOR GRAMMAR MISTAKES

Finals

Finals are a drag, and it seems study has been taking up most of my time. Okay well I haven't been exactly studying, I just said I was so my mother wouldn't bother me. Parents are a drag just like finals, it's been almost a week and my mom has barely said ten words to me; and I have no idea why. I just wish things where simple and there was a straight forward answer for everything. Things would be a lot less complicated and my thoughts wouldn't be running wild all the time. Do you ever tend to over think something somebody says to you, and try to analyze every part? Well I have that bad, I have no idea way, I just do. All last year I had a fear if someone could read my mind they would think I was pretty weird because I tend to think about weird things. Like what did ladies in the old days do when they were on their period? (Don't worry I already got an answer to that, maybe I'll tell you later.) I can be pretty weird at times. It's not my fault though, remember what I'm about to tell you. Always blame your problems (mental and physical) on your parents. Sometimes I hear adults say that a child is bad, but really it's not the child's fault; it's the parents for not raising them better. Good kids usually come from excellent parenting skills. There is no such thing as a bad child, just bad parents. (Or what if your parents are really awesome, and you grow up to kill the world? that is a sure exception.) Well I have to go "study".

Au Revoir,
China

Sleep is a Drag

     So last night after I posted my blog, I took a shower and got in bed. I had this weird feeling, the sort of feeling that makes you think about your future. When all these thoughts travel in your head, it tends to be a little hard to sleep with all that on your mind. I really tend to be an over thinker, it's like it won't turn off sometimes. It gets super hard to pay attention in class, because my mind tends to wander if there's nothing entertaining. So I stayed up all night long, watched this movie named Tart. Which I have to say is pretty weird. [SPOILER ALERT] Who the freak kills a girl after you get you dick sucked by a guy? Why the fuck is that movie so weird?

Well it wasn't that weird, but it was pretty predictable. I hate those types of movie, when they try to teach you a lesson. If I wanted a lesson in life I would buy a self-help book, but do I have any of those? HECK NO. Oh Darn. Today at school I could of swore everyone in my first block hated my guts, I was so darn hyper. Like out of control, they wondered if I was high. But no I don't do drugs, I know how to get high on life without it. (That was a stupid thing to say, but it needed to be said, therefore, it was said. Got It?) Yearbook class was a drag, so darn boring. There was nothing to do, all we did was sit there. I can't just sit around for an hour and thirty minutes, I just can't do that without losing my mind. I just saw the preview for mean girls 2 (I'm watching Pretty Little Liars), i hate when people try to make sequels out of really good movies. They just seem to ruin the first movie all together, Mean Girls is a coming of age story about the bitches of high school, who need to be taken down, and given a dose of a harsh reality check. They say that everyone changes after high school, that the nerds get hot, the hot ones get old and fat, and the the rest just seem to fall between successful and not. I wonder where I'm going to fall, am I going to get hot or just old and fat. If I were to put myself in a clique, I don't know what i would be put. I wouldn't say I was popular, or that I was a nerd. I don't play an instrument, or into theatre. I'm not a scene or a goth person, I don't drink or do drugs. I think I'm just normal person, I hope I am at least. If your reading this you must think I'm quite the complainer but I'm really not. I just really don't have a way of venting my feelings and not have a big backlash. Well your probably tired of hearing me talk (another corny line, I know already!).

See You Next Time, 

China

School? Oh My!

Did I ever tell you how bad school sucks? The teachers barely teach and the ones that do are mean as hell. Ugh I have this one boring teacher, who gave us this sheet of paper to say how we could make her class better. So me not trying to tell a lie, wrote "well whenever I get bored, i tend to daydream, maybe if you class was a little more entertaining it would of been better". And this is the lady who stops me in the hallway because I'm showing a little cleavage. I'm NOT doing it on purpose, so just chill already. Good thing tomorrow is an even day, because I cannot stand her one bit. UGH why does high school even exist, my life sucks. I'm so happy that I get to wake up at 5:30 AM tomorrow, it's the best thing in the world. I love the feeling of being tired and feeling like total shit. Just makes you want to giggle and say hello to everyone that walks past you. [hint: there is a bit of sarcasm] Bum Bum Bum Bum Do da,this may be a bit random but, I've always wanted a theme song. Like when I'm walking into a room or into a crowd of people. A song would just appear out of nowhere and I would have a dance montage, it would be epic. Maybe I might make a short film about it, it would be pretty amazing. Well I doubt this thing will get any views, I don't really expect it too, but it's like a way to vent out life's troubles. I guess I should fill you in on my school schedule.


Even Day (all even periods)
AP WORLD HISTORY
YEARBOOK
FRENCH 2
FASHION DESIGN


Odd Day
PRE-AP ENGLISH 2
PHOTOJOURNALISM
ALGEBRA 2
PRE-AP CHEMISTRY


Even days are the best days, like the almost blow off days. Those are the classes i have all my friends in and the day of the best lunches. Well I got to take a shower before bed.


Au Revoir,
China

New Years Resolutions Suck

So every year, people tend to make resolutions; but what for? Often at times when you say things that you want to accomplish, you tend to get lazy and not do it. Because truly human beings have no motivation to get off their asses. (Sorry but language is required at times like these.) So I challenge you guys not to make resolutions if you not going to stick to them. Countless years I have said that I want to be a nicer person, but what for I'm already nice enough. So what I say johnny is stupid, everybody knows I'm just kidding (but am i really?). So I guess I should introduce myself to the world. My name is China, and yes people it's my actual name. Maybe one day I'll actually tell you why I was given such a name. I may be young but I have a whole lot of wisdom. I see things for what they really are, and I can see past all the bullshit. I'm in high school, but surely I won't tell you what grade I'm in, or how old I am. I'll let you figure that on your own. I'm a middle child out of three, I have two highly annoying brothers.(Christian and Branden) I live in Texas, land of the boring. I plan on traveling the world, and by that I don't mean just going to Mexico. Been there and seen that. Nothing special, but I have to say that Cancun has one amazingly beautiful beach. Did I mention that i absolutely hate my brothers, all they do is freaking bother me, blah blah blah. Can't they tell I don't give a shit about what they have to say (well I do, but not when they're being annoying). And there they go at my door being annoying, ugh why can't I just graduate already and be free of them. Be free of my whole family actually!

Adios,

China